Chronicle Number 27: It's Gettin' Hot in Here, So- Oh Jeez I'm Going to Die

It is hot in here. I feel the need to tell you that it is LIKE A SAUNA IN MY APARTMENT.

I might expire.

You might say, "Turn on the air-conditioning, Lindsay!"

To that, I reply "AIR CONDITIONING IS FOR THE WEAK."

Our windows are all open, and it's lovely outside, but for some reason all that lovely air is not entering. However, it is making it very hard to study. Speaking of that, I should probably be doing more of that right now, but I'm hot and tired and I promised myself I would update every Tuesday.

See? I'm being good.

Aigh, my butt keeps sticking to this chair. This is highly uncomfortable.

Gah, Corinne is laughing at me. I'm so tragically misunderstood.

But you lovely 5 people who read this did not come here to read about me whining about the temperature. You came to read me waxing eloquently about various Subjects That Matter, such as World Peace and Harsher Punishments for Parole Violators.

Or maybe you came to read about demon squirrels, whatever.

This weekend Brianna visited me! My dearest bud from faraway journeyed miles to arrive at my door, carrying a blue suitcase and an excellent jacket. She regaled me with tales of a strange kingdom called Japan, and updated me on the status of Baby Bunny Boat, otherwise known as her boyfriend, Scot.

She met Boyfriend, and seems to approve. Boyfriend says he likes her. Of course, Boyfriend knows what and what not to say.

We went to Megan's dance show, which was epic! Megan looked great. Megan performing also means that her mom came down. She brought us food! I have decided that everything she makes tastes of rainbows and happiness.

Fun stuff has happened in the last week, just nothing that is really easily turned into fun stories. I might also just not be feeling creative, seeing as I'm being baked.

I'm sorry, I can't concentrate in this horror. I never said every Tuesday update would be good.

Until next time, remember-

Lindsaytopia is watching you.

Chronicle Number 26: Enter Stage Left, A Vile Beastie

Hello! I'm like a particularly bad case of the flu- contagious and back with a vengeance! I might even make you vomit... With laughter!

I know that you have been waiting with baited breath for my words. You should stop this, because not breathing is bad. It causes problems, and I don't like problems. The only people who shouldn't be breathing are Corinne and Erin, and only on cold dewy mornings when I instruct them to cease respiration, because if they don't I won't be able to see out the windshield and we shall all die. Besides, only the driver needs to be conscious, right? Right.

Last week wasn't so bad. But brace yourself for next Tuesday's blog. This week=HORROR.

That's an important equation. Remember it.

So, after last Tuesday's blog, I spent most of my time until Thursday working on my history presentation. I'm not even going to go into what it was about, because it was super confusing and you probably don't want me to explain it to you. It would take 20 minutes.

Also, last week I was sick . I don't know what it was but the symptoms manifested themselves as a slight cough, throat ache, and MIND-NUMBING EXHAUSTION. I felt sick, but not terribly so, and I thought I should be able to do things. But instead, I wanted to fall over and go to the sweet sweet sugar land of my dreams.

This is not conducive to activity. I BLAME YOU, BOYFRIEND.

LINDSAY: Lalala, I have avoided all of the sickness of my roommates! I have the best immune system ever!
BOYFRIEND: *cough*
LINDSAY: Waaaaiiiiiit... You're ill. Get away from me.
BOYFRIEND: No I'm not. I'm fine, really!
LINDSAY: Okay...
BOYFIEND: No, really, I'm fine. Look at me, I'm so reasonable, blah blah blah. Give me a smooch.
LINDSAY: I believe you, I'm a naturally trusting person. *smooch*

DAYS LATER:

LINDSAY: *cough cough hack hack*

It is all his fault. I demand shiny things to make up for this.

I managed to get my presentation finished, in spite of great adversity all caused by Boyfriend. Then I gave him, Erin and Corinne the presentation for practice and he was mean to me.

Okay, that isn't true, I was just touchy. Sorry, Boyfriend.

The presentation went okay, I guess. I was very worried about it, and I felt gross while giving it.

MY PERCEPTION OF THIS PRESENTATION:

LINDSAY: Marghle barghle confusion confusion *snore*

BUT ACCORDING TO MY TEACHER AND FELLOW STUDENTS, IT WENT MORE LIKE THIS:

LINDSAY: I am extraordinarily eloquent and creative!

Seriously, who knew? ...Don't answer that.

Friday night was Susana's play, and it was awesome! I can't really describe it here, but shout out to her- it was amazing and I loved it and she's the hot theatre goddess of my world. You can quote me on that in your autobiography, Susana.

I went to the football game on Saturday, and we won. I continue never having been to a game we've lost. This obviously means that I am a magical being, probably a gnome or a unicorn. I think "gnome" is more likely.

When I tell you about Sunday, this blog takes a turn from its normal genre. It shall become- a Horror Novel!!!

This Horror Novel!!! consists of a Horror Novel!!! creature.

A... *insert horror music here*

COCKROACH!!!!!!

THERE WAS A COCKROACH ON OUR CEILING.

We couldn't kill it because WE HAVE VAULTED CEILINGS.

Also I AM A WIMP WHO CANNOT APPROACH COCKROACHES. And Boyfriend was far away at a mock trial competition and COULD NOT SLAY THE VILE BEAST FOR ME.

And yes, to answer the question you have- yes. Yes, I would make Boyfriend drive to my apartment from his dorm and kill a roach for me. It is my Sacred Right as a Girl Afraid of Cockroaches.

So Susana, Corinne and I are shrieking, and Megan walks in from outside.

US: MEGAN KILL IT MEGAN FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT.
MEGAN: Um, what?

We explained the problem. (By "explained," I of course mean "went into hysterics and pointed.")

While they devised a plan, I ran around in circles. Literally. We were finally victorious using a broom, a blanket, and several shoes. Don't ask. Henceforth, Megan will be known as "Intrepid Young Adult Slayer of Vile Beasties."

Don't judge me. I'm not proud.

I would talk about boring studying that went on, but I really don't think that anything will top this tale of the Vile Beastie, so I'm going to stop.

Until next time- Lindsaytopia is with you!

Chronicle Number 25: Empress and Poet Laureate? It's All Too Much!

Behind LeConte Hall
Stalked by mangy felines
I update again.

For some reason, I felt it best that it be stated in the form of a haiku. Maybe it will become a theme.

Much has happened in the last week. Actually, it seems that it has been a week of extreme inactivity punctuated with episodes of bustle.

Before Thursday night
Our Hero was studying
Must not fail a test.

Thursday night was my second genetics test, which I felt I did pretty well on. Not great, but okay. Hopefully we'll get the tests back tomorrow.

Boyfriend came and studied with me (well, he was studying law and I was studying genetics) which was interesting... He was consigned to the edge to read while I had all my books spread out in a circle, my preferred method of study. He didn't complain... much. Okay, he didn't complain at all, but he's funny when I accuse him of things he didn't do.

Trapped in a Maize Maze
For two-and-a-half hours
AIGH! I am in hell.

Yes. Friday night, I spent hours trapped in a corn maze. It was super fun... For the first hour. I still spent a fun dinner with the Collegium, and it was a good bonding thing. After all, being trapped in hell with someone, it really brings you closer.

Saturday morning
Munching on cinnamon buns
Dressed in red and black.

As Little and Big would say (AKA Jordan and Boyfriend) "FOOOOOOTBAAAAAALL!"

It was fun! Even though I was hot. And we had to park super far away. We won! Every game I've gone to, we've won. Obviously I am magical. And I got a lemon icy thing. Balance is restored.

Dressed up, yet again
Six-month anniversary
I guess I like him.

Yes, yes. It was Boyfriend and my six-months. It doesn't seem that long! But I think I will keep him around.

Sunday with Merlin
Monday in class and with books
Hurray! T'was my week.

Must go, the feline is back.