Chronicle Number 23: None of That "Logic" or "Rationality" Here, Please

Dear friends, I am back. Please insert a rambling apology for never writing here: _______.

Okay, done? Well, I guess I'll just dive right in, then.

I'm going to Italy! I'm sure that most of you had heard of this, but I figured I should just inform you again. I'll be setting off on May 8th. My program ends on the 2nd of June, but my intrepid mother will be flying over for two weeks to tour after it finishes. I'm so excited, and it doesn't even seem real. I've been yammering at Corinne to teach me some Italian, but she has been singularly uncooperative. Of course, this probably has more to do with me than with her.

LINDSAY: Cooooriiiiiinne....
CORINNE: (sensing doom) ...Yes?
LINDSAY: Teach me Italian!
CORINNE: Okay, what do you want to know?
LINDSAY: How do you say, "Where's the party"?!
CORINNE: ...No.
LINDSAY: What about, "Dance with me, you fool!"
CORINNE: You fill me with despair.
LINDSAY: Fine. *sigh* How do I find the airport?

She's taught me how ask where the airport is about five times, and I still can't remember.

The last couple months have been completely insane, I tell you. I think I really just forgot this blog even existed. I had a test (or two) every week for five weeks, then spring break, then an organic chemistry test. That adds to me running about like a crazy person trying to get my Italy stuff in, and well... You know what happens. Everything has been a whirlwind.

Things have been going pretty well, with the exception of Microbiology (grrr) and this last O-chem test, but more on that later.

It's been finalized, I'll be living in an apartment next year. I've already signed a lease, and will be living with Susanna, Megan, and Corinne in Lakeside Apartments here in Athens. It's a year-long lease, so I'll probably stay for the summer and take classes. It'll give me some time to fit in fun classes I don't have time for, (like psychology) and maybe retake O-chem 2211 for a better grade.

I'm looking forward to living in an apartment. A lot of people don't really understand why I want to live out of the dorms, and I totally get their perspective. However, Kristina is an RA next year, so she wouldn't be living with us, and I really want to give some other girls the opportunity to live in the suite as well. I've had a great year here, and I want other people to get that experience. Also, it will save me some money to live in an apartment and be off the meal-plan.

As you know, spring break was a couple weeks ago. That was a lot of fun, even if it did kind of knock me out of my test-taking rhythm. We did not get to go to Harry Potter World, because it doesn't open until June 18th. I find it very misleading that they said it would open in the spring. Obviously, I was on spring break, and therefore it was spring, and the park should be open. And June is not, by my estimation, the "spring." June is summer.

And don't give me that hooey about the "calendar" and "solstices" and "the turning of the earth." (Mark, I'm looking at you.) June is the summer and you know what I say to anyone who says differently? PBBBBBBT!

On a more serious note, things have taken a nosedive in my organic chem class. I did so well on the first test (way above the average) and then just bombed the second test. I wouldn't really be sharing this (I don't want to worry anyone) but it really has helped me come to a realization.

This isn't me. I think the reason I did so poorly is that I gave up. I fell back into last semester's pattern of seeing something that was really hard, thinking that I would fail at it, and believing that. I get the impression that a lot of the chemistry professors just don't think that any of us can do this, and they make it very clear that they are expecting a lot of us to fail.

I'm in no way saying that this is all of them. I've had teachers like Dr. Kutal (spring 2009) and Dr. Locklin (now), who genuinely care about us and want us to do well.

But this isn't about them. I've had bad teachers before, and what was my response? "I'll show them." Not "Woe is me, they're right, I'll never succeed," depression, but more of a righteous anger that they underestimated me.

Anywho, I slipped back into giving up, but I'm not going to do that again. Why? Because giving up is easy. Giving up is a cop out. And I don't cop out.

So the experience has been kind of disheartening, but I can come out of this stronger than I was before. Okay, serious speech over.

I miss everybody at home a lot, but I have an optimistic view for the future. I'll be home for Easter!

Remember people, though I may disappear into the mists of the internet for months at a time- Lindsaytopia lives on in the hearts of all.