Chronicle Number Seven: If Only My Life Was a Musical

If only my life was a musical. Things would be better, then.

I am thinking of this (though truly I've thought this since I knew what a musical was) because I watched Rent on Saturday night. While UGA was being firmly beaten into a crying pulp, I was singing happy songs.

I don't know if everyone has seen Rent, but oh well. You are just going to have to bear with me.

Rent is an awesome movie. Probably one of my favorites, but the end is... Face it, incredibly cheesy.

MIMI, EXPIRING OF AIDS: *Cough* I die!
ROGER, EXPIRING OF AIDS: *sings* Your eyes are pretty. I love you.
MIMI, IN MIRACULOUS RECOVERY: *cough* Gee willikers, I feel better.

Now, as I grow up, I've decided this: Pathetically cheesy is okay! If my life were a musical, everything would be pathetically, cheesily perfect.

As in the calculus test.

REAL LIFE:

LINDSAY: This test... It makes the AP Calculus test look like a meadow. Full of pretty flowers. Where I'm dancing. With Patrick Demsey.
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR: Squeeeaaaak!
LINDSAY: *Pounds head against desk* I HATE LIFE.
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR: Squeeeeaaaak! Squeeaaak squeeeaaak squeeeeeaaaaaaaaak!
LINDSAY: *cries* WHY?!?? *poundpoundpound*
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR/EVIL INCARNATE: SQUEEAAAAK!
LINDSAY: Your DEATH is IMMINENT.
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR: Squeak?

LIFE IN A MUSICAL:

LINDSAY: My dear Dr. Graham,
There's something wrong with my test!
In my AP Calculus class,
I always was the best!
I don't know what to do.
I fear that I may die.
DR. GRAHAM: Do not worry, I will curve it,
There is no need to criiiiie!
Here, the Calc class all promptly stand up and begin dancing in unison.
Dr. GRAHAM: For I am Mathematics Man
And I will do all that I can!
To fight the good fight,
With integral power!
To do all that I might
To make their scores tower!
There will be a low grade ban,
'Cause I am MATHEMATICS MAN!

Sometimes my brain scares me...

Maybe my life would not be a particularly well written musical... But it would still be wonderful! And full of singing! (Granted, some people I know would just have to be dancers. You know who you are.)

But seriously, ppl... (that ppl thing is a joke. I don't actually do that. Although now that I've pointed it out it's not funny.) Anywho, what do you want to hear about?! I'm begging, here. I'm running out of material here. (Um, Exhibit A: Mathematics Man.)

And now, in parting, a line from another musical!

Adieu, Adieu, to you and you and you!

Chronicle Number Six: Back by Popular Demand, AKA Mark

*is sheepish*

I know, I know. I haven't been here in awhile.

In my defense, I have a sort of excuse... I don't think it's a good one, but when has that ever stopped me before?

If I were to actually write a blog before last thursday, it would not have been a blog at all. It would have consisted of:

"AIGH!!!*headdesk*"

I didn't think that would satisfy your rabid interest in my life.

But all the same, what can you do without me? I'll tell you what you do. You wither. You wither into mere husks of yourselves. And what am I to do with friend-husks? Shall I make friend-husk dolls? I think I would have to combine you, and that would be no fun. Mark, I saw you this weekend, and I could just see you wasting away.

So, what is going on in my life, you ask? What has been occupying my hallowed brain?

Weeeeell, the reason I was insane for about a week was...

Chemistry.

Now, chemistry is actually very easy. For now, its all review, and that is pretty easy. However, my teacher likes putting the fear of Atwood in his poor defenseless students.

LINDSAY: Hmm. This problem is pretty easy. I like it.
ATWOOD: The problems on the test are nothing like this. They are TEN times harder. No, A THOUSAND times harder. No, a MILLIEON* TIMES HARDER!!! BWHAHAHAHA!
LINDSAY: *cries*

*To be read in funny evil sorcerer voice

This was a dark time in my life. It was full of me systematically beating my head into a wall. Mother, please understand that I am being metaphorical here. Did you see any bruises?

But I took my test, and made good grades, and had a good french class (I know, I know, GASP!SHOCK!AW!) So things have been better.

I also got to go to six flags! That was equal parts WHEE! and AIGH!

But I'm sleepy.

So I'm going to bed. (I don't think this was actually very funny. But I'm tired. So Pbbbt.)

Chronicle Number Five: Tailgating, Football, Headaches, O My!

Carlye (My RA), Megan (My intrepid teenage roommate) and Me! Tailgating!

Greetings from far Athens! I have come to spread the sweet rain of my presence onto your drought-ridden minds!

How has it been without me? Sad, yes? I really pity you. I get to be with me all the time.

The week has been pretty good! I feel like I'm really getting used to this college thing. Plus, it helped have gone home last weekend. Saw the friends, saw the family, was pounced upon by the church. Ooh, church pouncing. So painful. All that brick and mortar.

Anywho, the week was fun. It was short, 'cause of labor day. Therefore, Lindsay has decided to make a decree. From now on, no school on Mondays. No work either! Every Monday shall be a labor Monday!

LINDSAY: This is a good idea. All should obey me.
THE GOVERNMENT: Um. No.
LINDSAY: Pbbbt.

So maybe it won't actually happen. But it should.

What interesting things happened to me this week? (I know, I know, "Lindsay, everything that happens to you is interesting!" I keep telling you, I can't tell you everything! This blog would be too long.)

Class has been okay. Kind of boring, but oh well. French remains slightly terrifying.

FRENCH PROFESSOR: Ah ahm old. Ahnd kind av creepeh.

But I guess the most exciting thing (to you, maybe) is I went to the football game!

LINDSAY: W00t! *waves pom pom*

Actually, I did not have a pom pom, although I wanted one. Woe is me. No pom poms for Lindsay. No one loves her enough to get her one. (coughMegancough)

MEGAN: How was I supposed to get you a pom pom?
LINDSAY: I don't know. Be creative.

Well, the game was sort of fun. When they were actually doing stuff. And when I could understand the stuff that they were doing. And when I wasn't dying of heat exposure... There was a lot of

EVERYONE AROUND LINDSAY: W00T! OMG! YAAAAY!
LINDSAY: Yay! YAY! Wait... what happened?
MEGAN: We moved the ball 20 yards.
LINDSAY: YAY!
EVERYONE: ... We have already stopped cheering.

And some of

EVERYONE BUT LINDSAY: Aww.
LINDSAY: ???
MEGAN: (who is an expert by now, all hail Megan) We thought we made touch down, but it touched the ground at the one yard line.
LINDSAY: Awww.
EVERYONE BUT LINDSAY: We have stopped. Does she have some type of disease?

And more of

LINDSAY: Megan! Maddie said they had fireworks at her school! Every time they made a touchdown. Where are the fireworks???!
MEGAN: There are no fireworks.
LINDSAY: No fireworks? That is heinous.

We left at half-time, after the pretty band did pretty things. Megan had a dancing thing and I had a headache. So after we had dinner I went and lay down in my room... An end to the fun.

But I am going to take away the positives of this experience! YAY to watching guys jump on each other! YAY to watching a guy leap nimbly around another player like a bouncing gazelle! YAY.

And plus, any anger I had against UGA for the fireworks debacle was soothed today by the chocolate fountain. After all, what great wound cannot be cured by chocolate?