Chronicle Number 15: Manipulation 101-Oh, What I Can Teach You, Grasshopper.

So, I lied. I promised that I would treat you to my presence more often, but I have not. I apologize. I just don't know what you can do without me.

However, this does tie into my first subject of conversation. I think perhaps every semester may start out this way, with "Oh, I have plenty of time! I shall exercise every day, I shall write long blogs to my ardent followers, I shall begin recruitment of the dancing boys!"

Of course, this is met by my teachers with cackling laughter and 1000 word essays. I believe that perhaps at the start of every semester my naivety will be crushed.

Since it is on my mind, I feel the need to share about my (pause for the gnashing of teeth) lab TA. We shall call this a sub-chronicle, that of "Mr. Moody, or Someone. Is. Going. To. Die."

He starts off every lab with "To quote the Black Eyed Peas, let's get it started in here."

He tells Brittany Spears jokes.

They aren't funny.

...Lovely things also happen such as:

RANDOM GIRL: Yeah, I'm taking a spinning class.
MR. MOODY: I tried to take a spinning class, but I got dizzy!
RANDOM GIRL: ...Ha ha!(awkward laughter)
MR. MOODY: Get it? Dizzy! Heh heh!

This wouldn't be that bad, but he actually thinks he's funny! And it's obvious that if you don't laugh at his jokes then your lab grade is going down ten points.

I think I'm about to break. Today in lab, there was a slight unhinging of Lindsay.

LINDSAY: *ominously uncaps her pen, wielding it as a dagger*
ERIN, INTREPID LAB PARTNER: Lindsay, NO! I don't want my lab partner to be sent to jail!
LINDSAY: Just... a tiny... stab...

But it's okay, really! I'll be fine! And Erin (different Erin, friend-Erin isn't in my lab) is quite tall. She can hold me back.

Another reason I haven't been writing is that my life has been full of drama drama lately. Not fun. I decided to be done with girl drama in 10th grade, and it has decided to enter my life through 20 year old men... Oh, not girls fighting over guys, noooo, that would be expected. This is girl drama between the two STRAIGHT men.

This leads me to the title of this lovely chronicle. Boys, don't ever try to have drama the girl way. What I could teach you. You are mere grasshoppers, I am the master. Any girl is the master.

It's strange to me that more women aren't in politics... I think that living through your teen years as a female is like boot camp of political manipulation.

I think men are usually more sensible about this thing.

MAN 1: I'm mad at you!
MAN 2: O Rlly? Whachoo gonna do about it?
MAN 1: I'm gonna punch you in the parking lot!
*They fight*
MAN 2: You okay now?
MAN 1: Yup. We're cool. Let's grab a beer.

This is the way I see man drama, at least. If it isn't, I prefer to keep my illusions.

Anywho, yesterday night I was talking to my friend Jordan about the whole thing, and it led me to wonder if maybe our priorities are out of order.

LINDSAY: This awful, terrible thing happened, because people are petty and mean...
JORDAN: Oh, no!
LINDSAY: And this horrendous thing happened...
JORDAN: That sucks!
LINDSAY: Added to this horrific thing that occurred...
JORDAN: Crap...
LINDSAY: And Okon cut his hair.
JORDAN: THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!

I'm just hoping that it all blows over.

In good news, I've got somewhere to live next year! Corinne shall be my intrepid teenage roommate! Don't worry, Megan shall not disappear. She shall be an intrepid teenage suitemate.

I'm also figuring out where to go with my classes. Classes this semester are going swimmingly. This doesn't stop me from having meltdowns, of course, but I think that is just my way. :)

I'm off to watch a film for class tomorrow! And I really will try and write more often.

Really!

...