Chronicle Number 38: Lindsay and Boyfriend Go to Miami

My dear fellow Lindsaytopians,

I know that you are all sighing. I know that you wish it was not me, but Boyfriend who is writing this chronicle. I know, because I know you. I know you like him better than me. I see it in your eyes. Just remember that your first loyalty must lie with me.

I know that I have not updated you in awhile. I know that this fills you with woe, but too bad. I have no sympathy.
The past few weeks (minus spring break) have been filled with crazy. You'd think I'd be used to that, but alas, I am not.

The two weeks before spring break were spent in test taking, as per usual. The reenactment game we played in history was not cooperating with me, so I had a million things to do for that.

It would have been fine, except it really felt like not many people were actually prepared. Also, some of our people didn't even show up. Seriously, one disappeared before the game even started, one disappeared into the ether after one session, and one missed about four of the eight game days, if I'm counting right.

This made everything really difficult. When the people don't show up, and you've only got 12 to start with, it really throws a wrench into things. It did lead to funny situations, like when our professor talked to the roommate of the guy who hadn't shown up.

LINDSAY: Yeah, Hutch Hapgood hasn't been here since the first day.
ANNOYING CLASSMATE 1: Oh, I think he dropped.
WOLF: *overhears.* I haven't got any notification about it.
AC1: I'm sure he did!
WOLF: Tell him that he should.

Now, you can't get the true tone of her voice from this transcript, but just imagine that a woman named Montgomery Wolf, whose specialization is in the history of Punk Rock, and is generally epic in every way, just told you to drop a class in the most dangerous tone possible. Yeah, it was scary.

It confuses me, I guess, because I don't understand the mindset. Why would you skip a class that has ten people? The professor is going to know! And she doesn't have to give a Withdrawal Passing if she doesn't want to.

Well, whatever. I got through it, I have an A, and Wolf seems to like me. She is really pretty epic.

Getting up to break was kind of a slog. At one point I was just done. It ended up okay, because I didn't have to study all that much for my Peoples, Parasites and Plagues class. And then it was break! Hurray!

Spring Break turned out really well. The first bit I spent cleaning, which was not so much fun. But I also had time to do other stuff, so the cleaning was not too bad.

On Thursday I set off to Miami with Boyfriend and his family! If those words make you feel nervous terror, then you're just like me. Congratulations, you've achieved state of supreme being. Or supreme crazy, whichever way you look at it.

It ended up being pretty great. Mr. and Mrs. Boyfriend are awesome. Boyfriend has a hilarious relationship with his Dad, which mainly consists of

BOYFRIEND: *Says something. Anything at all, really, it doesn't matter.*
MR. BOYFRIEND: You are completely wrong, and here is why.
BOYFRIEND: Actually, sir, YOU are completely wrong. This is why.
MR. BOYFRIEND: I have stopped listening to you, because I prefer to insult your hair.
BOYFRIEND: That's funny, because I prefer to insult your age.
MRS. BOYFRIEND and LINDSAY: *look at each other and sigh*

It was all in good fun. I was left behind sometimes, because I don't always get all the legal/political stuff.

Well, I'm off now. I know this was not that exciting, but I'm sitting at a table with a bunch of people and I'm getting distracted. I'm just so popular. :P

Don't worry though, Lindsaytopia will soon arrive!

Chronicle Number 37: Boyfriend Speaks! The World Gasps in Horror!

Greetings and salutations, all ye followers of Lindsaytopia!

This chronicle is brought to you by none other than the mysterious, vaguely spoken of Boyfriend. At the request of Lindsay, I’m filling in for her this week and talking to you about a week in the life of her significant other, although her commentary may be interspersed throughout.

LINDSAY: He thinks I’m a busybody. Geez. No faith. *pauses* Wait… Ah, what the heck. My comments will be in between slashes.

While my darling has been busy with Biochemistry and the other horrors of South Campus here at UGA (things that I, as a Political Science and International Affairs major, know little to nothing of), I have been dealing with the tribulations and, for lack of a better word, trials /Oh haha. He’s so punny./ of being a Mock Trial captain. For the uninitiated, Mock Trial is a competitive simulation of an actual court case, with attorneys, witnesses, evidence, objections, etc. It’s like Law and Order, except without all of the Hollywood “poetic licenses” on little things, like “relevance” and “constitutional rights.” /I, personally, find those things silly./ Our case this year was a civil product liability trial – a company had made this toy (the innocent-sounding “Princess Beads”) that contained a chemical that turned into a date-rape drug when ingested. If you remember the hoopla over “Aqua Dots” a few years back, you know the basic idea here. When a 2 year old swallows several of the beads, he goes into respiratory arrest and dies, leading to the parent suing the toy company. I’ve been doing Mock Trial for about six years now, and this has probably been the most complicated case I’ve ever worked with. I even had to consult Lindsay /I’ve told him to refer to me as “divine goddess,” but does he listen? No./ on a few issues about toxicology and biochemistry (which were a huge part of the case). I was on the defense earlier in the year, representing the toy company, and it was… challenging, to say the least. That side really sucked a lot of the emotion out of the case- necessary but annoying. The other side has the whole “dead child” narrative going for them, which forces the defense to try and suppress a lot of the emotion. That’s really not my style, so I was really excited to be switched over to plaintiff for this semester. Alex righteous indignation returns in glory!!

I was also lucky enough to get to be captain of a C-team, a great experience, considering that only I and my co-captain had done College Mock Trial before, and the entire team was freshmen and sophomores. I could not have been happier with my team. They were dedicated, focused, and amazingly talented. UGA’s program will remain a terror for many years at this rate.

Our actual record at the regional in Kennesaw, GA last weekend might not be the best indicator of that, however. We finished 3-4-1 (3 wins/4 losses/ 1 tie) out of eight ballots (the score sheet for each of two judges in four rounds) – not too impressive. In our defense, we did face UNC-Chapel Hill’s A-team (finished 6^th overall), Emory’s A-team (finished 2^nd overall), and Duke’s B-team (finished 3^rd overall, and probably one of the best teams I have ever seen). Our other round was kind of a joke, as we won by 45 and 23 points. My team joked about making a YouTube remix of some of the more choice quotes and more outrageous/less logical points. I tend to doubt the competency of a team that actually attempts to be hostile with the grieving mother of the dead child. That round actually ceased to be fun, the beatdown was so bad. /Please. Beat downs are always fun./

Beyond that, my life for the past week has been a slog through preparing for 3 midterms (which ended up all on one day! Oh joy…) and the first half of another one. They actually went pretty well. My International Relations one may have been a bit iffy, but I’m pretty sure I can pick up any slack with the essay part next week. I’m taking another class with my IR professor next semester, which may or may not be good for my GPA, but I don’t really care because it’s his specialty – IR decision making. He actually takes a neuroscience bent on it, looking at decision making from a psychological perspective, which is kind of what I wanted to do coming into college. Excited? You better believe it. /Excited!Alex is super adorbs, btw./

I also made my first full foray into the Demosthenian Literary Society this week. For, well FOREVER, Jack and Susana (both Demosthenians) have been telling me I need to get involved there, but I just haven’t had the time between Mock Trial and Model United Nations. The conversation goes something like this:

ALEX: *RAWR* ARC OF HISTORY TENDS TOWARDS JUSTICE *RAWR* INEXORABLE MARCH OF HUMAN FREEDOM!!!!!!

JACK: Why aren’t you in Demosthenian yet?

ALEX: blah blah blah too much in my schedule blah blah blah

JACK: Search your feelings. You know it to be true. You’re one of us. *descends into chanting ONE OF US! ONE OF US!*

/Oh Lord, no. I like my Alex the way he is. Demosthenians are cray cray. *gets dagger glares from Susie* But also wonderful! Yay Demosthenian!/

So, since they were debating the dissolution of the Student Government Association (and calling out SGA people to speak), I had to go and watch. I actually got up and spoke! /Alex? Giving a speech? That never happens. Except every time he’s allowed./ I thought I was received pretty well, and a few people asked me questions during the speech (including several from Susana – probably just because she could use the opportunity to badger me. I’m onto you, Susana…). /Boyfriend and my roommate are besties. Death besties./ I actually might try and join the Society. It might be a good way to get me out of the rhetoric withdrawals I go through without Mock Trial. Any advice for my petitioning address is welcomed – I’m currently between arguing the value of the unexplainable or better communication through chanting. /Better communication through chanting! You can be a cheerleader!/

There’s my piece. All hail Lindsay the Wonderful!

Alex, aka Boyfriend

Chronicle Number 36: It's Good Boyfriend Isn't Naming These.*

Why is it that life seems to consists of long stretches of doing nothing, then extremely short stretches of frenzied activity? It's not that I don't anticipate my tests- I do. I feel like I'm getting ready in time, and then- BOOM! A million tasks fall upon me.

For instance, I began studying for my biochemistry test about a week ago. This, I would like to inform you, was two weeks away from my test. Starting to study (and I mean legit study, not just read a chapter or go over one's notes) two weeks in advance is a eon for a college student. I thought I was being soooo responsible. I was on it, ready to meet any challenge advanced to me.

The world likes to prove me wrong.

LINDSAY: I've planned for you world, I've got this. You can't throw anything at me now!

THE WORLD: They're so cute when they're optimistic. *CRUSHES HER*

The game is turning out to be a lot of work (I thought it would be, but perhaps not this much) and it's going fast. I guess I just thought the time would be slower, and I would have a little breathing room. My biochemistry class continues to add heaps of information to my load. Every class ends with Garrett staring mutely at me in horror, and then I cry a little.

But I did fairly well in my first round of tests/essays, so I'm making an attempt at optimism.

In other news, apparently the combined effects of biochemistry, history, and psychology create in me a great urge for interpretive dance. This is the only way I feel able to truly share with the world.

The Demosthenian All Night Meeting was last Saturday! I was a little out of it, to be honest, because I had driven to Atlanta that day for rehearsal.

Getting to the ATL wasn't that difficult, but I of course became confused by the signs and nearly went the wrong way a few times. Apparently it's impossible for me to adequately follow google maps.

Rehearsal went well, despite some truly lovely backhanded compliments. I generally ignore those, and move on. What's the point? I think some people just think a person is stupid if she doesn't respond to those, but I think people who do are the true idiots.

Getting back was... interesting, to say the least. As a note to myself and all others inclined to go from Atlanta to Athens, apparently you need different directions to go to Atlanta than the ones you need to get back. You know what I'm talking about- usually you can just follow the directions backward, but in this case- does not work.

Or maybe I'm just directionally challenged.

Either way, it ends up with this:

ROAD: No, you CANNOT go this way.

LINDSAY: I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

OTHER DRIVERS: WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?!?!?!?!

For the record, I apologize. But in my defense, the other drives are generally even dumber than me... Which really just exacerbates the situation.

Anywhoozle, I got back to Athens safely enough, only marred by a raging headache and horrible knots in my right shoulder. (Which you, Boyfriend, are welcome to fix at any time.**)

This brings me to the All Night Meeting. I don't really know how to describe it.... At least not in a way that will truly do them justice.

First of all, I'd just like to put out into the universe that Susana did an excellent job planning the whole thing. I suppose the long nights and the successive insanity were all worth it in the end. I, of course, did not stay for the whole thing. I was pretty tired from all the driving, so I was pretty much ready to beat it by about 11.

There were three speakers, the first of which was one of Susie's drama professors. He was hilarious, interspersing monologues he had done with his speech. The second and third were more serious, the former concerning breadth in education and the latter focusing on death in literature as an extended metaphor for real life.

Wow, I just read that again and it sounded awful.

I promise, it was actually really cool. It was a "you had to be there" moment.***

The rest of my time has been spent mainly gaming it up and studying for biochem. At some point I'm going to have to fit in studying for a psychology test... While doing eleven hours of rehearsal.... And planning a speech....

OhmygoshI'mgoingtodie.

*When asked to think of a title, his response was "I dunno."

**Boyfriend! Oh, Boyfriend! BOYFRIEND! Stop reading over my shoulder and do something useful.

***This comment thoughtfully provided by Boyfriend. See, he can be creative!

Chronicle Number 35: Oh Look! Bees!

My life... is like a leaf. A leaf upon the wind, thrown and buffeted every which way, with no ability to choose or prepare for the next gust! I float, I spin, I weave!

No... My life... is like a teakettle. Full of boiling energy and furor! Building up to the inevitable shriek! Dedicated to making tasty hot beverages!

Actually, that isn't right. I am not dedicated to making tasty hot beverages.

Perhaps my life is like a... An old purse. Full of fun surprises, like that old five dollar bill that you forgot about, but also full of terrible surprises, like that old piece of candy that you forgot about that is now melted and stuck to the five dollars, and also your hand.

Or maybe my life is like a shiny piece of aluminum foil, attempting to distract a squirrel (you) from the fact that I haven't blogged in forever.

Last week and the week before consisted of my first hell week. I call it just one, because I had an essay due on Thursday, a test on Friday, then two tests on the Tuesday and Wednesday of the next week. During this time I also had 5 hour rehearsal for the Georgia Chamber Choir and rehearsals for the St. Matthew Passion with the Collegium.

School is hard, but I'm attempting to get by. The only class that really worries me is biochemistry. I got a reasonably okay grade on the first test, but I still wasn't happy about it.

My professor is pretty good, if exceedingly difficult. There's only one really bad problem.

I'm looking at you, Nilla Wafer.

You see, dear audience, my friend Wes (forever referred to as "Nilla Wafer" because he is white and skinny) and our lovely friend Ben (forever referred to as "Ben" because he might kill me if I gave him a nickname. And he could do it. With one hand.) decided to tell Garret and me all about Dr. Adams during our time in Cortona.

These stories always consisted of them imitating Dr. Adams accent.

It's some sort of cockney/British/American hybrid, I think. There really isn't any way for me to get it across in text. Suffice it to say that now any time Dr. Adams says "Okay, let's get started" (every class) or "acetyl CoA" or a myriad of other trigger words, Garret and I have to fight the urge to laugh hysterically.

Sometimes this could be explained away, because I feel it is understandable to laugh hysterically after being taught the entirety of the TCA cycle in one lecture. In these cases, a student has a choice- laugh hysterically or cry hysterically. But other times, there is just no reason, and disrupting class because your teacher said "arachidonic acid" funny is generally frowned upon.

Other than that, my classes seem to be going well. I love People Parasites and Plagues, even if my teacher scares me a little. She's just generally that cool. I feel she could slay me with a well-raised eyebrow.

In history, we are starting a game! A reenactment! I am Mabel Dodge, Muse of Fifth Avenue! I must gather as many Personal Influence Points as possible! I get to design a mail box in which people can leave me notes and bribes. I also have my own day of class, in which I set the topic and decide who speaks. Basically, I am ballin'.

Jordan is Emma Goldman. She's an anarchist. Also, she has a hobo lover. I feel this is a very important detail.

I feel this blog post is winding down in quality. That's usually a sign that I should stop. In closing, let me say, Happy belated Valentine's Day to everyone! In the spirit of St. Valentine, be lovely to everyone every day, but please don't be a martyr. Stoning is not allowed in Lindsaytopia.

Oh, you're ask when I'll post again? Well, that's a difficult question, what's that behind you? Bees?

...

Chronicle Number 34: The Perfect Vacation; Small Animal Sacrifice, Vultures, and Balloons!

Yeah, yeah I know. I've been remiss in my blogging. Somehow, I think you'll survive.

I haven't written in the new year. So far, it's been okay. I'm really hoping that this one is a better one. I do have a lot of things to be excited about in 2011, but there are also some worrisome events in the future...

However, worry is stupid. It really isn't doing anything for me, is it? All it does is take my energy away from finding solutions and dealing with what is happening right now.

In the weeks since I last wrote, it has pretty much been a mix of a lot happening and nothing happening. I spent New Year's in Athens. I love my friends. Only we would bring in the New Year by watching football (please don't ask, don't talk about it, I know and it makes me want to cry) and playing board games. We tried to go Hispanic dancing, but that turned into an epic fail- the place was closed, even though there was a facebook event and fliers. Sadness. We made it fun, though, and Boyfriend was sweet enough to drive in from Chattanooga. Ferguson, the Intrepid English Man and Boyfriend's Bestie, took offense to this, but you know what I say?

LINDSAY: Pbbbbt. You didn't make plans, so I get him.
FERGUSON: I'm cranky. And English.

On New Year's Day, Susana and I set off for Orlando, accompanied by Susie's brother Daniel (Intrepid Teenage Muscleman) and her cousin Alfredo.

Orlando was... Fun. We got there about 12:30AM, because of a combination of crappy travel occurrences. First of all, it rained nearly the whole way. Secondly, we hit a couple patches of bad traffic. It also took forever for us to get dinner. Anywho, we got to the... place... very late. I think I shall call this part of the chronicle:

ADVENTURES IN THE LAND OF DISCOUNT BALLOONS

Our condo was in a very strange area of Florida. Some might call it ghettoville. It was pretty much just on the four lane highway, and the side of the road was filled with crazy shops that were covered in murals. These murals were mainly American Flags or safari animals. We attempted to get to a place we could sleep. The way it worked was that we had to call the office and get the code for the drop box, which would contain a key and directions to our condo.

We couldn't find the box.

We aimlessly drove around for awhile, convinced that we would be eventually kidnapped and sold into slavery. We decided to sell Daniel and Alfredo to save ourselves, because Daniel is prettier than us and Alfredo cannot speak English. Finally we called the office again. We made Daniel talk this time.

DANIEL: Where is this office?! And please don't let my sister sell me.
RANDOM WORKER: I think I'll give you really bad directions. Not because I hate you, but because I am an idiot.
DANIEL: I'll take what I can get. I don't want to die.

So we drove around some more, now with a slight idea how to find the place. On the way, this exchange took place:

DANIEL: Susie, where are we staying, anyway?
SUSANA: It's called Florida Magic.
DANIEL: The Lord of Magic?
SUSANA: ...Yes.
DANIEL: You've killed us all.

The best part of this is that there was a shop that had a huge wizard on the top of it. Susana nearly told Daniel that he had to stay there.

Anyway, we finally got to the box, got our keys, and got to the condo. Then we got to the really "interesting" part.

It was a strange mix of grandiose and crappy. It was huge, with four bedrooms and three baths, a kitchen, a den, and a sort of sitting room. The furniture was really nice, even though it kind of looked like someone had time-traveled to the Victorian Era and brought back couches, then reupholstered them in velor. Also, there was a dark red stain on one of the couch's arms, which we termed the "small animal sacrifice" spot.

Susana and I pictured it as a lot of "Oh s***" moments. For instance, the TV didn't quite work, and the walls were really thin. And the flooring in my room wasn't laid quite properly, so whenever I walked on certain spots the wood buckled. In Susana's room, the bed and the dresser didn't really both fit. So the dresser was pushed in front of the window, which might have been fine except for the whole "giant Victorian furniture" think I was telling you about. The mirror completely covered the window- all you could see was the top edge.

But all of this was really fine. It was actually the perfect combination, because none of it was truly bad- we could just laugh about it all. So the next day, we drove past the flock of vultures in our parking lot (yes. The flock. Of vultures. In our parking lot.) and went to Universal.

Universal itself was really awesome. Harry Potter World was great, in spite of the crazy amounts of crowd. I tried butterbeer, pumpkin juice- the gamut. I would actually like to go back at a time when there might not be so many people, but I don't know when that would be. It was really nice to go with a bunch of people who really wanted to do all the roller coasters. (Note- the Rip Ride Rock it. Epic.)

On the second day we had to go to the Florida Magic office and turn in our registration sheet. Susie and I went in. The lady there was pretty interesting. She was wearing clothes that she should not have been wearing, and she had the most ridiculous hair I'd ever seen. We asked her a couple questions, she seemed perfectly nice. Then this happened:

LINDSAY: So do we have to wash the dishes?
LADY: Naw, just let us take care of that!
SUSANA: Thanks! And sorry about getting this in late!
LADY: That's alright, my loves. *creepy smile*
LINDSAY AND SUSANA: *twin looks of horror*

We immediately tried to leave. Susana attempted to open the door. It wouldn't open. She tried the other. No dice. She frantically began shaking it. I saw the descent of my life into slavery in the Ukraine and my eventual death flash before my eyes.

Thankfully, the door finally gave in. I think it sensed our growing desperation. We ran, escaping our captors narrowly.

But the rest of the trip was fine! Except for traffic in Atlanta, we didn't really have any problems getting back.

I got home, hung out with my mom. We went out one day to celebrate her new job. Then I headed back to Athens. Boyfriend cooked me dinner on Saturday (he's a gem) and then on Sunday I was promptly snowed into my apartment. That's when the whole "absolutely nothing" comes into play. It was fun for awhile, but by Thursday I was really happy to go to class.

This first week of class has been okay. I don't know quite how I feel about things yet. There's been a little drama with classes, but so far it's been fine. I think I now have everything together. I'm only taking 12 hours, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I've still got four classes (for science majors that's a lot) and it looks like all of my tests/essays are going to be falling in the same weeks. So I might die, but what's the fun of school without fear of imminent mortality? No fun at all, I'm telling you.

I leave you now, with

The Lord of Magic!

Chronicle Number 33: Epic Year In-Review

A post about my week I could write,

About shopping and baking and talking all night,

But instead from Jordan I have decided to thieve,

An idea for a post that I truly believe

Might not be funny- but I don't really care,

It's my blog! Don't like it? Find other fare.

So here it is, without further ado

Lindsay's Epic Year In-Review.

This year was harsh. Socially it was awesome. Academically it was the worst of my life. I'm not really going to go into that, because if you know then you know, and if you don't then you probably don't need to hear about it. But I have great friends, great family, and a great boyfriend. I know that I depend on you all to get me through, and you've done your job admirably. Sometimes I think that I shouldn't rely so much on you, but I think that we all depend on each other, so maybe it's okay. Anywhoozle, I have to thank everyone for the support.

Music of the Year:

1. The Decemberists continue as my favorite band of all time. I know some people do not appreciate Colin Meloy's genius, *coughAlexcough* but I do.

2. As pretty much everyone else has said, Mumford and Sons has entered my existence and there is no going back.

3. Florence + the Machine- I just wish there was more of her.

4. Lady Gaga. She is controversial and much hated, and let me tell you- I was sort of one of the haters. But I just couldn't resist, and I don't really care who's judging me. *coughMarkcough*

5. This year I've been introduced to a lot of music that is old to the world but new to me. It's been fun to be introduced to bands by Jordan, Susana, and Alex that I'm really enjoying. Among these are the Kaiser Chiefs, Pearl Jam, Five Iron Frenzy, and the Strokes.

Books/Authors of the Year:

I actually haven't read that much this year, which is sad. At least, not a lot of what I've read has stuck out. Here are my top picks:

1. Juliet Marillier, Daughter of the Forest- This book is fantastic. Some of the events might not be palatable for people, especially young ones, but I encourage anyone to give it a chance. It's so good that it's almost bad- I've now read the sequels and am sometimes disappointed, because they just aren't as epic.

2. Sarah Rees Brennan, The Demon's Covenant- Rees Brennan really hit her stride in this book. The first was good, but I don't think it's exactly a book for the masses. This book, the second in a planned trilogy, was funny and tragic all at the same time. I will continue being a fan girl.

3. Scott Westerfeld, Leviathan- This book gets me purely for the world building. It's fantastic. Erin gave me it for Christmas and Nick gave me the sequel. I can't wait to dive in.

4. N.K. Jemisin, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms- Fantastic. Fan-freaking-tastic. I don't have words for how amazing this book is. Probably my top book of the year.

5. Karen Healey, Guardian of the Dead- I loved the heroine, I loved the world-building, and I loved the mythology. Exactly the right book for me.

Television of the Year:

Well, this isn't even going to be a list. Because while I do watch a bunch of shows (I should probably cut down) there is really only one that I cannot live without. And that is Chuck. Please, please, please, do not get cancelled. I am a super fan, and I love it bunches. Everyone should watch it to make sure my darling show does not go away.

I do admit to an epic love of Merlin on the BBC, however. I do feel bad- I don't wait to watch it in the US, I find it on the internet.

General Events:

1. Italy. I went to Italy. At times I still miss it, and still desperately want to be there.

2. I joined Collegium Musicum, which was nerve-wracking and terrifying, but I'm so glad I did it. I missed singing.

3. I did a bunch of things with my mom! I love my mom, you know. She's so awesome. I should talk to her more, and make lists of things to talk about in this blog that involve her. Wait, she did that for me. :) It was cute. I came downstairs last week and found my list of things to talk about in my blog had a few items added, all ending with "_____ with Mom."

Of course, I can't really cover every important thing that happened to me this year. It would be impossible, and you would get tired of reading.

The last entry this will be

But not, my friends, for eternity!

Only until the year does turn,

Then I'll be back, with words to burn.

Laughter and smiles will surely ensue,

From new experiences I'll relate to you.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year,

Don't fret, for Lindsaytopia soon will be here.

Chronicle Number 32: Maybe More Than Slightly Crazy

Dear Boyfriend,

What does one do when one has nothing to do? In the last week I have watched a ridiculous amount of bad television, done a few useful activities, and read five new books. But I am bored, bored out of my mind (not that it takes much to get out of my mind... the borders are very thin here...) and I can't think of what to do. I'm feeling very lazy from my horrible semester, but being lazy makes me bored. And being bored makes me sad. I am sad, Boyfriend. Fix it.

In this last week without you, what have I done, you ask? Well, I have not been very busy. As I've told you, all I do is read read read no matter what what what, which is considerably less kick@$$ than win win winning no matter what what what.

On Thursday, the intrepid slayer of vile beasties came to visit me. This was pretty anti-climactic. As you well know, I live with Megan. Someone you live with coming to visit you is not actually that exciting. Even though Megan is always exciting! Ahem.

Anywho, that was super fun. We went shopping, meeting Corinners at the mall. Oh! Corinners is no longer the intrepid teenage sidekick. She has been demoted. No, I'm just kidding. She is no longer a teenager. So apparently I have to think of a new name for her. The trials of being an empress, I tell you. They never end.

Back to Megan. I'll tell you all the exciting things we did. We fought a dragon, and saved a damsel, and made friends with the dragon, and found out that the damsel was really annoying so we made a giant taco out of her and fed her to the dragon, and the dragon proclaimed, as all sane people/dragons should, that tacos are the best food in the world.

Okay, that didn't really happen. But we did partake of the best food in the world, and then we curled up under a blanket on the couch and read until the wee hours of the morning. We are party animals, I tell you. Party. Animals.

On Friday we went to the traditional caroling. And you know what I found out, Boyfriend? Everyone wants to talk about you. They want you to visit again.

I find this highly insulting.

I am visiting! Their empress, the most high! They should want to talk to me! But noooo, instead they seek news of Boyfriend!

Okay, I'm not that insulted. I guess you're kind of cool, and I guess that if I like you other people might as well. I'm old news. You're new news.

This pattern continued on Sunday at church. There was also a children's Christmas play, during the service, which was fun. I almost died of the adorableness, but that's a completely different issue.

That night I had my scholarship dinner. I wait on the edge of a knife... Fear curls itself around my toes...

I miss you, Boyfriend, and it annoys me. You should fix that too, while you're fixing me being sad. You should also fix the fact that I seem to be growing steadily more insane, as you can see from this letter blog. Being all alone watching marathons of bad television is bad for me.

Well, I should go. Those books won't read themselves!

Your Maybe-more-than-slightly-crazy-Girlfriend,

Lindsay

PS. Please continue to accept and adore my crazy.

PPS. Lindsaytopia!

Chronicle Number 31: Wise Counselor and Favorite Person of the Empress

My dearest Jordan,

I am writing to you because you are my biggest fan. I know that you are probably mad at me, because I haven't updated in two weeks, but I also know that you understand.

It is probably a horrible thing, but your upsetness gratifies me a bit. Of all the people in my life, I know that you are the one who truly wants to hear the wise words of your divinely ordained ruler. No one but you, sweet Jordan, yelled at me about not blogging. Not Boyfriend, not intrepid teenage sidekick, not the Hispanic goddess, and not the destroyer of vile beasties. No one loves me but you, dearest Jordan. In return, I'm giving you a title. From now on, you are Jordan, Wise Counselor and Favorite Person of the Empress.

The worst part of this is that I haven't seen you for the last two weeks, not really. This was very sad for me.

If it makes you feel better, I really haven't done that much except study. It was extremely boring. Last weekend I spent making my poster for HerbFest, which is what the candy was for. You know that, because I saw you there. What you weren't there for was my crafting of my lovely candy covered poster.

I can't write about this anymore. I'm so bored I might cry, and if I'm that bored it means that you're that bored, and we can't have my favorite person wallowing in boredom. That would be simply uncool.

I have mixed feelings about exams. They are over, so I guess there is nothing else I can do, and I shouldn't worry. That doesn't stop me from it, though.

After exams were over, I cleaned the apartment. That is because I decided that for Boyfriend and my 8 month anniversary, I was going to plan the date.

I am the best date planner ever.

First, I made him dinner. T'was awesome. (Even though I set off the fire alarm. Oops.)

BOYFRIEND: You are the best date planner ever. You light up my life.

Okay, he didn't really say that. But I do light up his life... If only with fire.

I had planned the date perfectly. He had no idea! All of my conversations with him were soooo sneaky.

*Note, this is a real text message exchange. Except for Boyfriend's responses, which got deleted from my phone, and thus are a mixture of memory and pure fabrication*

LINDSAY: Just to let you know, I am planning an awesome date. ;)

BOYFRIEND: Something I can't remember.

LINDSAY: In something completely unrelated, what vegetables do you like?

BOYFRIEND: Really long list. Apparently I love vegetables.

LINDSAY:...which do you like best?

BOYFRIEND: Green beans and broccoli are probably my standbys.

LINDSAY: Any other favorite foods?

BOYFRIEND: Something about Italian. Which is not helpful at all, because Italians have so much freaking food.

LINDSAY: How do you feel about steak? Not that you would get any.

BOYFRIEND: I love steak. Even though I'm not getting any.

LINDSAY: Good. Not for any reason, of course.

BOYFRIEND: Of course not.

LINDSAY: You like steak, I like steak. We're perfect.

I'm seriously like a ninja. Except I know they actually wore dark blue, and I don't think that an entire outfit of navy is fashion forward.

After dinner, we went to the Town and Gown production of The Rocky Horror Show. It was really fun, even though it was crazy raunchy. I have to thank you for that, because you helped me find the event. Without you, I would have been sunk.

The show was wonderful, and then we got to see you at bowling. It was bowling. There really isn't anything to say after that, except that our Lady Gaga interpretive dance should go down in History of Awesome Moments. Maybe we should take our act on the road.

Saturday was spent helping Susie with Demosthenian stuff, watching movies with Boyfriend, and doing normal laundry/packing/getting ready to go things. Saturday night was a Christmas Party, and I'm telling you, Jordan- our new goal in life is to get Susie to play charades with us. I'm telling you, Jordan. We could die happy.

Well, I'm at home now, and Mom is calling me to dinner, so I should wrap this up. I lovales you, Jordan, and I miss you!

Your Empress,

Lindsay

PS. Don't worry! Lindsaytopia is near! It will involve Susana doing charades. Hilarious.