Chronicle Number 31: Wise Counselor and Favorite Person of the Empress

My dearest Jordan,

I am writing to you because you are my biggest fan. I know that you are probably mad at me, because I haven't updated in two weeks, but I also know that you understand.

It is probably a horrible thing, but your upsetness gratifies me a bit. Of all the people in my life, I know that you are the one who truly wants to hear the wise words of your divinely ordained ruler. No one but you, sweet Jordan, yelled at me about not blogging. Not Boyfriend, not intrepid teenage sidekick, not the Hispanic goddess, and not the destroyer of vile beasties. No one loves me but you, dearest Jordan. In return, I'm giving you a title. From now on, you are Jordan, Wise Counselor and Favorite Person of the Empress.

The worst part of this is that I haven't seen you for the last two weeks, not really. This was very sad for me.

If it makes you feel better, I really haven't done that much except study. It was extremely boring. Last weekend I spent making my poster for HerbFest, which is what the candy was for. You know that, because I saw you there. What you weren't there for was my crafting of my lovely candy covered poster.

I can't write about this anymore. I'm so bored I might cry, and if I'm that bored it means that you're that bored, and we can't have my favorite person wallowing in boredom. That would be simply uncool.

I have mixed feelings about exams. They are over, so I guess there is nothing else I can do, and I shouldn't worry. That doesn't stop me from it, though.

After exams were over, I cleaned the apartment. That is because I decided that for Boyfriend and my 8 month anniversary, I was going to plan the date.

I am the best date planner ever.

First, I made him dinner. T'was awesome. (Even though I set off the fire alarm. Oops.)

BOYFRIEND: You are the best date planner ever. You light up my life.

Okay, he didn't really say that. But I do light up his life... If only with fire.

I had planned the date perfectly. He had no idea! All of my conversations with him were soooo sneaky.

*Note, this is a real text message exchange. Except for Boyfriend's responses, which got deleted from my phone, and thus are a mixture of memory and pure fabrication*

LINDSAY: Just to let you know, I am planning an awesome date. ;)

BOYFRIEND: Something I can't remember.

LINDSAY: In something completely unrelated, what vegetables do you like?

BOYFRIEND: Really long list. Apparently I love vegetables.

LINDSAY:...which do you like best?

BOYFRIEND: Green beans and broccoli are probably my standbys.

LINDSAY: Any other favorite foods?

BOYFRIEND: Something about Italian. Which is not helpful at all, because Italians have so much freaking food.

LINDSAY: How do you feel about steak? Not that you would get any.

BOYFRIEND: I love steak. Even though I'm not getting any.

LINDSAY: Good. Not for any reason, of course.

BOYFRIEND: Of course not.

LINDSAY: You like steak, I like steak. We're perfect.

I'm seriously like a ninja. Except I know they actually wore dark blue, and I don't think that an entire outfit of navy is fashion forward.

After dinner, we went to the Town and Gown production of The Rocky Horror Show. It was really fun, even though it was crazy raunchy. I have to thank you for that, because you helped me find the event. Without you, I would have been sunk.

The show was wonderful, and then we got to see you at bowling. It was bowling. There really isn't anything to say after that, except that our Lady Gaga interpretive dance should go down in History of Awesome Moments. Maybe we should take our act on the road.

Saturday was spent helping Susie with Demosthenian stuff, watching movies with Boyfriend, and doing normal laundry/packing/getting ready to go things. Saturday night was a Christmas Party, and I'm telling you, Jordan- our new goal in life is to get Susie to play charades with us. I'm telling you, Jordan. We could die happy.

Well, I'm at home now, and Mom is calling me to dinner, so I should wrap this up. I lovales you, Jordan, and I miss you!

Your Empress,

Lindsay

PS. Don't worry! Lindsaytopia is near! It will involve Susana doing charades. Hilarious.