Chronicle Number 13: All Hail Lindsay, Hot Goddess of the World

The last of my entries was titled "Incommunicado" and that was definitely true. This last month (and a half) I have been extraordinarily uncommunicative. Really, I'm not going to say that's a bad thing, because I was home for much of that time, and I had pretty much decided that I wasn't going to update while I was in Augusta.

But anywho, I guess I shall just ramble on about my life (we will get to the title of this, eventually). I'm not in a terribly comic mood, so perhaps this will be a little boring... But hey, read on if you wish.

The last two weeks of the semester remain a sort of blur to me, as I don't think I was completely sane for much of the time. Then again, when am I ever? There was a lot of

LINDSAY: I will NEVER learn this, I am GOING TO FAIL out of college and DIE IN A GUTTER SOMEWHERE.
MEGAN: Um, you're scaring me, just a little. So I'm going to go.
LINDSAY: AIGH! *headdesk*

I also spent a great deal of time wandering about muttering about Russian tsars, electronic geometry, and logarithmic curves... Other times, I really don't know... I think I blocked it out. There was a moment after the math exam that apparently everyone in the classroom could hear me sobbing and... *shifty eyes* ...cursing... Please don't worry, honestly. I've never reacted that violently to an exam before, and I don't think I ever will again, but that was possibly the most hellish experience of my life. Corinne and I have come up with a metaphor for this entire situation.

You see, high school was like dancing. Through a meadow. With Patrick Dempsey (who, if you don't know, is a delicious hunkahunka burning man). Then we came to college, and suddenly the meadow turns into MORDOR and Patrick turns into SAURON and you're like "OMG, PATRICK! When did you turn into a GIANT FLAMING EYE???!!!!"

Then there came home time, and recovery, and general awesomeness. With that (and my grades, which were not as stellar as I would wish but still good) I realize that these were my first exams, and while hellish, now I know what I am dealing with and can freak out less next time.

Then I came back to Athens, which is both great and terrible. Great, because I missed Athens and having stuff to do, but also terrible because I'd finally gotten used to being with the family again and having nothing to do.

"But Lindsay," You ask, "Why have you not written to us? We miss you! How could you leave us this way?"

Well, my answer, though not particularly interesting, is just that nothing has really happened. I have been extraordinarily boring. (I know, I know, "Lindsay, nothing you do or say could ever bore us!") I've been mostly devoid of GAK! moments that provided hilarity last semester, and without those, the start of a new semester is mostly "Hi, let's talk about the syllabus." Other then that, much of my time was taken up by watching movies and catching up with friends, and obsessing about a certain mule-headed boy that I'm not really going to talk about here, because if he were ever to find this and read it I would have to commit ritual paper cut suicide, and we know where that leads.

ADORING MASSES: *sob in the streets, create monuments, some die of grief*
LINDSAY: *is dead.*

But yesterday we hosted a quizbowl tournament, which you are probably tired of hearing about, but it pretty much guarantees peals of laughter for me, and therefore is something I talk about.

But you see, this is where the title of this chronicle comes in! I was scorekeeping for Tim (mainly because I knew that he wouldn't make me read, and that made me simply giddy from happiness) and there was a team that was there for the first three rounds. They were all guys, and were very funny, which as all know is a direct ticket to my heart... And there was the fact that they treated me with the flirtatious adoration that is my due. Later I ended up as their scorekeeper again, (purely coincidence) and then decided I wanted to see if they would win. Now, perhaps they were flirting because I was, ahem, a female, and they are on quizbowl, and thus sort of unacquainted with this category of human, but they were sweet and funny, (and soooo much more attractive then most quizbowl males) and I needed an ego boost, what with being ignored by certain mule-headed males that better recognize. ("Recognize" is to be said as in ebonics.)

This of course (of course, what do you expect from me and my friends) lead to the decision that I should have a cult in my honor, and in the word of my dear intrepid teenage sidekick, Erin, I "finally have some people who recognize me as the hot goddess of their world."

I love Erin so much for that.

Other hijinks ensued, such as Chiego yelling at Okon for not working, and then promptly checking the quizbowl wiki right after Okon left (Oh, Chiego...) But all went very smoothly and Jordan spent the night at my dorm, which was just made of coolness. Oh, boys... I wonder if you know what kinds of conversations we have about you when you are not around...

At some point yesterday I realized that my crush sort of curled up and died, like a dog in the street, which makes me glad. Mule-head purchased an express ticket to the friend zone... He might be able to redeem himself, but I kind of doubt it. It's all good, I have the cult and the dancing boys to replace him.

I will try to keep up with this better, I swear. Even if I have to bore you with the details of my nonexistent love-life. Perhaps it is all for the best, seeing as any boyfriend I get better be ready. This crazy is real, baby.

It's all real. ;)