Monday, September 29, 2008

Chronicle Number Seven: If Only My Life Was a Musical

If only my life was a musical. Things would be better, then.

I am thinking of this (though truly I've thought this since I knew what a musical was) because I watched Rent on Saturday night. While UGA was being firmly beaten into a crying pulp, I was singing happy songs.

I don't know if everyone has seen Rent, but oh well. You are just going to have to bear with me.

Rent is an awesome movie. Probably one of my favorites, but the end is... Face it, incredibly cheesy.

MIMI, EXPIRING OF AIDS: *Cough* I die!
ROGER, EXPIRING OF AIDS: *sings* Your eyes are pretty. I love you.
MIMI, IN MIRACULOUS RECOVERY: *cough* Gee willikers, I feel better.

Now, as I grow up, I've decided this: Pathetically cheesy is okay! If my life were a musical, everything would be pathetically, cheesily perfect.

As in the calculus test.

REAL LIFE:

LINDSAY: This test... It makes the AP Calculus test look like a meadow. Full of pretty flowers. Where I'm dancing. With Patrick Demsey.
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR: Squeeeaaaak!
LINDSAY: *Pounds head against desk* I HATE LIFE.
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR: Squeeeeaaaak! Squeeaaak squeeeaaak squeeeeeaaaaaaaaak!
LINDSAY: *cries* WHY?!?? *poundpoundpound*
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR/EVIL INCARNATE: SQUEEAAAAK!
LINDSAY: Your DEATH is IMMINENT.
DR. GRAHAM'S CHAIR: Squeak?

LIFE IN A MUSICAL:

LINDSAY: My dear Dr. Graham,
There's something wrong with my test!
In my AP Calculus class,
I always was the best!
I don't know what to do.
I fear that I may die.
DR. GRAHAM: Do not worry, I will curve it,
There is no need to criiiiie!
Here, the Calc class all promptly stand up and begin dancing in unison.
D
r. GRAHAM: For I am Mathematics Man
And I will do all that I can!
To fight the good fight,
With integral power!
To do all that I might
To make their scores tower!
There will be a low grade ban,
'Cause I am MATHEMATICS MAN!

Sometimes my brain scares me...

Maybe my life would not be a particularly well written musical... But it would still be wonderful! And full of singing! (Granted, some people I know would just have to be dancers. You know who you are.)

But seriously, ppl... (that ppl thing is a joke. I don't actually do that. Although now that I've pointed it out it's not funny.) Anywho, what do you want to hear about?! I'm begging, here. I'm running out of material here. (Um, Exhibit A: Mathematics Man.)

And now, in parting, a line from another musical!

Adieu, Adieu, to you and you and you!

3 comments:

Susan said...

Hey! I know I am proving how clueless I am, but what is ppl?
I like your musical fantasy much more than picturing you beating your head against the desk and becoming homicidal over a squeaking chair! I am sure you will prevail, with the help of Mathematics man!

BTW, tell us more about French class and what you do for fun in Athens. Maybe you can write abut the Red Dive concert you are at as I write this....

Laura said...

Oooooooh, yes, all of those things your mom suggested!

Glad to see you're having fun!

lindsayiana said...

Like Laura, can only echo what your Mom said ... more stuff about other classes like Roosian history and Le Francais ... as for life as a musical, you would be pathetically and unuterrably positive and life affirming (barring your homicidal inclination as you integrate feelings with a squeaky chair).

Oh ... and how was that concert?